


Tumblr Mini Fics

by orphan_account



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Electricity, F/F, M/M, Tattoos, Unrequited Lust
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-13
Updated: 2014-04-12
Packaged: 2018-01-19 04:25:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 4
Words: 609
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1455292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Very short fics written for a tumblr askmeme. See tags and chapter titles for details.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Are You Challenging Me? - Dirk, Jake

**Author's Note:**

> Written for a [tumblr meme](http://gendersquare.tumblr.com/post/82351581327/send-me-a-number-and-two-characters-get-a-drabble).

GT: Is that a challenge my gayest bro?  
TT: First of all, you really need to stop throwing around ‘gay’ when your only knowledge of its use clearly comes from a few instances in the early 1900s.  
TT: Second, no, it’s not a challenge unless you make it one.  
GT: I daresay that you suggesting i wouldnt be man enough to withstand the torment of getting tattooed is quite a challenge indeed to a daring gentleman such as myself!  
TT: And how exactly do you plan to take up that challenge?  
TT: Before you ask, no, I’m not programming Brobot to tattoo you.  
GT: Well i recall you saying that in this upcoming adventure you have planned wed all meet in person right?  
GT: You can do it yourself then!  
TT: You realize I’m gonna hold you to that, right?  
GT: Youd jolly well better because im going to hold you to it as well!


	2. Advertisement - Bro, Dad

"Bro, I know we have to be ironically just beyond the cusp of fashionably late, but the movie started five minutes ago and we still gotta sprint across the mall," Dave said, hands shoved in his pockets.

"Yeah, I know." Bro’s head whipped away as fast as he had paused in the first place. "Well, c’mon - what are you waiting for then?"

Dave glanced back as he hurried after Bro, trying to figure out what distracted his usually unflappable guardian. It wasn’t like Bro had seen some sweet new headphones, nor a cheap fast food joint offering tacos. No, Bro had just been staring at some glossy advertisement featuring a gentleman with a fedora and black tie, pipe in his mouth and a can of Barbasol in one hand. Weird.


	3. Mischief Managed - Jane, Roxy

"And what precisely did you and Ms. Crocker do after you returned to her house?" Terezi asked, flashing her no-doubt bleached teeth. No one had incisors that blindingly white naturally. Obviously it was supposed to be some sort of intimidation tactic, but Roxy wasn’t impressed.

"Nothing. We watched a movie-"

"Allow me to clarify, Ms. Lalonde. When you two first pulled into her driveway, walk me step by step each and every thing that occurred."

Roxy shrugged. “She turned off the ignition, we fist-bumped like ya do with your bestie, y’know, probably said some nonsense-"

"What did you say to her, or vice versa?" Terezi stepped forward when Roxy hesitated, closing in like a cat who smelled an injured mouse. "I’d like to remind you that you’re under oath, so ‘I don’t remember’ would be a very unconvincing reply." The prosecutor was so close now that Roxy could smell the cherry twizzlers on her breath. "What did she say to you?"

"Mischief managed," Roxy exhaled, glaring at Terezi. She remembered a moment too late that behind those opaque shades were no functioning eyes, which robbed the blonde of what tiny iota of satisfaction she had grabbed.

"Well, judging by your presence in this courtroom, mischief was not managed.”


	4. 67% - Davesprite, Lil Hal

"67%? That’s not bad, I guess." Davesprite toyed with the pads of the tens unit, trying not to make his reluctance glaringly obvious.

TT: Before my intervention, it was a 1.02% chance, so I’d say those odds are pretty damn good.  
TT: Provoking orgasm without using any of the traditional erogenous zones isn’t an easy feat.  
TT: But since your sprite transformation left you without any such erogenous zones, while cruelly leaving your sex drive intact, we have to work with what we have.  
TT: Your desire at least indicates that you likely retained the psychological capacity to orgasm.  
TT: Now stop delaying and put the pads on your nipples like I told you to.


End file.
